There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
