After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
