Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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