HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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