Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
