I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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