Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
