he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
