It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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