I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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