Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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