Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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