i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
