I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
