You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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