I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize