Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
