is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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