playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
