It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
