I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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