He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
