The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
