He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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