Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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