Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
