turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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