im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
