I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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