There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
