I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize