Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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