@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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