I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
