tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
