We won't sleep together?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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