Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
