fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
