Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
