clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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