D3 body, D1 cock
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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