umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
