Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
