she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
