It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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