Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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