if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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