I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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