Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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