It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
