I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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