I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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