just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
