just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
