Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
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I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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