I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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