yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
