Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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