Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
