My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
