the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
